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Amy

@ lwhjp @piefed.blahaj.zone

Posts
3
Comments
35
Joined
7 mo. ago

Hi, I’m Amy.

✨ New 🏳️‍⚧️ improved ♀️ version 👩‍❤️‍👩 out 🏳️‍🌈 now! 🎊

I live in Japan. Talk to me about Haskell, Scheme, and Linux.

日本語も通じます。

  • How's your week been?

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  • I love karaoke, and if I'm careful I can usually avoid outing myself as mtf. But it's risky because I can't help comparing myself to the cis women and getting dysphoric when I can't hit the pitch or timbre I'm going for. (I should really see a voice coach)

    Anyway, this time I was out with someone who I assume was a masc on T. It was just the two of us at the bar, and hearing them happily droning on as low as they could actually helped me get over my inhibitions a bit and have fun exploring my full range.

  • How did you come out to your family?

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  • I told my parents by email (I live halfway around the world from them), and my immediate family and coworkers in person. Everyone else got my new name at most when I next met them -- they'll figure it out, or not, in their own time.

    I suggest:

    • say what you are doing (eg, "I am going to live as a woman from now on")
    • say what you expect of them (eg, "I'd like you to call me Twilight Sparkle")
    • then shut up and wait for a response

    And if you're not expecting it to go well,

    • don't try to justify it
    • don't argue
    • don't bargain or downplay it
    • be prepared to just leave

    Good luck!

  • Just opened a new pack, good haul.

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  • Last time I checked, yes :3

  • Just opened a new pack, good haul.

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  • Well if we're all sharing :3

    The pills are progesterone.

  • How's your week been?

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  • I also suck at platformers, and Celeste really taught me the value of persistence. The sense of accomplishment when I finally reached the summit was amazing.

    No spoilers, but there are plenty more great moments coming up :)

  • How's your week been?

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  • Eugh. Having to stop shaving for a few days prior to electrolysis. At this point I look like a girl wearing an extremely crappy fake moustache. Most of the rest of my face is clear now, but the upper lip is just endless. 😔

  • [Transfem] In a parallel universe

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  • I saw a similar comment elsewhere, and I (mostly) agree. It just... wouldn't be me. And I'm pretty sure I'm a better person than my hypothetical cis self, just from the added perspective, if nothing else.

    But still... if only...

    (At least this version of me did move to Japan :3 )

  • Trans Memes @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    Amy @piefed.blahaj.zone
    Transfem

    In a parallel universe

  • How's your week been?

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  • I also get a lot of value from Jessica McCabe's How to ADHD -- I bought her book a while ago and I promise I'll start it any day now :3 I think a lot of the strategies may be appropriate for other flavors of neurospicy too.

    You know the joke about how everyone who drives faster than me is a dangerous maniac, and everyone who drives slower is incompetent? We really do tend to see the world in relation to ourselves, and I think that it's because we take ourselves as the "normal" baseline there is this fear of appropriating. ADHDers struggle with focus "more than normal"; I'm normal; therefore they must have it worse than me and I'm not part of that group.

    Coming out as trans taught me that it is possible for me to be in a minority group without realizing it, and I've been trying to see myself and where I fit in in relation to the whole of society without centering myself. And also not to compare myself to some perceived "normal" baseline, but just play with the hand I was dealt. (I'm not trying to be maudlin there: I have qualities than I'm happy about too!)

  • How's your week been?

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  • Can I chime in here? (I got an ADHD diagnosis last year and a "probably" for ASD)

    Aside from medication (which helps a lot!) one thing I learned is to accept that I'm going to have difficulty with getting things done and navigating some social situations, and that's OK: I don't need to beat myself up about it. Just like hidden gender dysphoria, I didn't realize how much stress I was putting myself under reflecting on how badly I handled social encounters, or not keeping up with hobbies and recreation I felt I "ought" to be doing. And then I realized that this applies whether or not you are diagnosed with anything in particular! It's really good just to (try to) chill out.

    Oh, and if you're not familiar with rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) I can recommend this video (their channel is full of good stuff!)

  • How's your week been?

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  • Those are amazing!

    Is there a good community to share cooking photos and recipes, I wonder? I'd like to see more.

  • How's your week been?

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  • My brain is broken.

    • I really like being on HRT and living as a woman
    • I'm faking being trans so well all my friends and even three psychiatrists believe me
    • Everyone wants to be a woman anyway
    • What are trans men I don't even

  • Help me see the funny side, embarrassing storytime

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  • Did someone say baby trans? This is me last summer.

    I hope your ass feels better. That's a great story to look back on and laugh!

  • what did you learn from being trans?

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  • first i was afraid, (i was petrified)

    Kept thinking I could never live as who I was insideBut then I spent so many nights afraid of doing something wrongAnd I grew strong, and I learned how to get alongAnd now I'm out, on HRT,A skater skirt and painted nails and socks pulled up above the kneeI should have thought about the clock, ticking on through puberty,If I'd have known for just one second I could be the real me

    ... sorry, don't know what came over me ...

  • Wrong answers only:

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  • Ohhh... I was trying (setq bra-hook nil)

  • Wrong answers only:

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  • I tried on a bra as a joke and couldn't figure out how to take it off.

  • How's your week been?

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  • So my paranoia of course likes to insist that everyone is secretly clocking me but pretending I pass just to fuck with me. I got a chance to test it last week when I met a friend-of-a-friend who doesn't know anything about me.

    Me: Hey, wanna see a photo of me when I was younger?FOF: Okay... woah, your hair's really short!Me: Yeah, I, er, used to cut it like that...FOF: Wow, you were quite the tomboy!Friend: Less a tomboy, more like a boy.FOF: (makes "WTF are you talking about" face) huh?? (looks again) ohhhhh!

    And much laughter was had. So I guess I can safely continue to ignore the voice in my head.

    Oh, and there was the time someone assumed I was non-binary but couldn't figure out which way. Serves me right for dressing masc that day I guess :3

  • I need help... (I feel like I'm transphobic) (copied from lgbtq+ instance)

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  • I see plenty of OCD here but no transphobia. You're OK <3

    If you say you're non-binary, you are. I'll believe you. And hopefully everyone else here will too.

    And if it turns out later that you're not, that's cool too.

    And if you were doubly mistaken and you actually are? No problem. We can go on as long as you like, and you're not harming anybody.

  • How's your week been?

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  • I guess this won't be on anyone's radar who isn't in Japan, but I saw the new "This Is I" on Netflix. I was pretty apprehensive going in, but it turned out to be IMHO a compassionate treatment of the subject matter.

    It could be very triggering though, so be careful if you're struggling with dysphoria or transphobia.

  • The Button

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  • Who wouldn’t like that?

    Surprisingly, an awful lot of men :3 One other factor to consider is how often you think about having a female body. An occasional "heh, that might be cool for a day" when you watch a gender-bending anime, or whenever your mind wanders?

    A good way to confront your internalized phobias and biases is to ask yourself, if being a woman sounds good, why haven't you transitioned already?

    A couple of answers I hear a lot from trans-questioning people are:

    • "I'm ok with being a man." ⇨ Does "ok" really mean "ok", or is it perhaps "I don't like it, but it's all I know" (could be repressed dysphoria).
    • "Being born a woman would be OK, but I wouldn't want to be a trans woman" ⇨ This could be internalized transphobia presenting as a fear of not passing.
    • "I don't feel like a woman" ⇨ nobody "feels like" their gender, but you know who wants to be a woman? Women.
    • "I'm worried about what family/friends/society would say" ⇨ in other words, I want to transition but other people don't want me to.
  • Trans @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    Amy @piefed.blahaj.zone

    What has surprised you about transitioning?

  • Trans Memes @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    Amy @piefed.blahaj.zone
    Transfem

    Success through failure