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bizarroland

@ bizarroland @lemmy.world

Posts
22
Comments
1245
Joined
3 yr. ago

  • Fit girls role call

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  • Quick question. What happens when a guy does these exercises?

  • A Memory From the 90s

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  • I do only art in the morning.

  • A Memory From the 90s

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  • Not professionally, lol

  • A Memory From the 90s

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  • I did say it was the worst for a reason. It's kind of difficult to have a general scenario worst situation.

    Like there are a lot of bad ways to die accidentally, but falling feet first into a wood chipper that jams up when it hits your pelvis and you bleed out while screaming for someone to help you and all anyone does is stand around and start taking pictures for Instagram, that might be a worst.

  • How do I get one of those jobs where I send an email and then go to a meeting then draft an email then leave work and get paid $98,000/Year and have a badge on a little cord that says senior deputy an

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  • Yep, plan on changing jobs every two and a half to three and a half years.

    Be willing to lie on your resume to improve your chances of getting the specific job you're applying for, but only lie enough that you could watch a YouTube video and fill in the gap between the absolute truth and the expectation.

    Don't say that you understand Azure if you've never used a Windows computer before, but if you have run a home lab with proxmox, and they're looking for a VMware administrator, you're probably okay.

  • Dog shoots woman with shotgun at Nebraska convenience store

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  • Honey, wake up, a new man bites dog just dropped.

  • A Memory From the 90s

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  • The worst is when you're running through the house and you're not paying attention and you get fucking clotheslined by the stretchy cable, snatch the phone out of your mom's hand, smack yourself in the head with the phone that's now moving at four and a half times the speed of sound, and then your mom yells at you because you interrupted her call while you are laying on the ground with a fucking concussion and rope burns around your neck like a suicide survivor.

  • Whats the dumbest thing youve ever heard?

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  • I am struggling to think of anything a human being could say that would be more racist than:

    "This entire group of people are soulless homunculi, p-noid zombies, there is nothing going on behind their eyes, when they die they just die."

  • Whats the dumbest thing youve ever heard?

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  • I did pick that name for a reason.

  • Whats the dumbest thing youve ever heard?

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  • I was at a trailer park party once as a non-white person in the south.

    Apropos of nothing, I was approached by probably the skinniest human on the planet. Like, he was so skinny you couldn't tell if you were looking directly at his bones, or if his skin was actually a paper thin covering over his bones. He was so skinny, he could have performed in some sort of advertisement explaining how the price of a cup of coffee could help feed the starving southerners.

    As I was scanning my periphery to see if I could identify the Necromancer that was animating this creature, this person told me, of their own volition, that in church they had learned that white people were made by God and therefore had souls and black people evolved from monkeys and therefore did not have souls.

    In his mind, this was a way of reconciling the truth of evolution with the faith of his church.

    He had no idea that he had just lobbed the most racist thought that I had ever been exposed to in my entire life at me.

  • Whats the dumbest thing youve ever heard?

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  • I was once stopped by an elderly couple.

    One side of the couple was arguing that the sun went out at night.

    The other couple was arguing that the moon covered over the sun at night, and that's why we couldn't see the sun.

    They asked me to clarify which one of them was correct as an independent third party, and I told them that the earth rotates, and so when you can't see the sun, it's because it's on the other side of the planet.

    They both paused for a moment, looked at each other, and then looked at me and said, "oh, yeah", and that was the end of the argument.

  • Makes sense

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  • Me when I leave the house:

  • Would it be wrong for a lawyer to defend the killer of their family member?

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  • That is what they call a conflict of interest, and it would be justification to recuse themselves from the case, and failing to do so could cause an opportunity for the case itself to be overturned on appeal.

  • Vinyl and LPs - Analogue Music Goodness @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    Santana Inner Secrets

  • me_irl

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  • Probably depression.

  • Sunset in Chicago [OC]

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  • Deleted

    Is now a good time to invest in gold? I already own these bars here.

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  • It's probably a better time to sell than to buy.

    You have about $18,000 worth of gold right there.

    There is a chance it could go up, but it's already up quite a bit over last year even.

  • Does anyone else feel irritated when deeply religious people connect everything with god?

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  • For me, it depends on the authenticity.

    There's too many people that talk God this and God that, because they've been told that's what they are supposed to do as a God person.

    But then their actual actions are not what a god person is supposed to be.

    I'll take a 10% Christian that walks the walk 10% of the time over a 100% Christian that walks the walk 10% of the time any day of the week.

  • Vibe management

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  • Most management types can't see beyond their next bonus.

    That goes double for any publicly traded company.

  • What's a phrase that gets you through rough days?

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  • When it is time for the cream to rise to the top, all of the powers of the universe combined cannot stop it.

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    What tv show has the best theme song?

  • Vinyl and LPs - Analogue Music Goodness @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    Welcome to Timbuk 3

  • Not The Onion @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    Robot dogs with heads of Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg roam San Francisco streets

    www.dexerto.com /entertainment/robot-dogs-with-heads-of-elon-musk-and-mark-zuckerberg-roam-san-francisco-streets-3353715/
  • Unpopular Opinion @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    Every single character in Mythic Quest is a bad person, and the show is terrible.

  • Showerthoughts @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    I wonder how much money the movie Risky Business made for hospitals from guys trying to imitate Tom Cruise.

  • Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    Finally found an energy drink that will get me through this presidency

  • Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    That'll be $300.

  • cats @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    Get you a girl that looks at you the way my grandma's cat looks at me.

  • techsupport @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    HP Ultra G1a Bios Freezing Issue

  • No Stupid Questions @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    People who have eaten since December 31st, 2025, why are you trying to start new shit?

  • No Stupid Questions @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    What are some good things to purchase to add a new distraction to my life?

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    Everyone on the planet gets soul transplanted into their complete and total opposite. How fucked/blessed are you?

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    What things do you tell yourself about yourself inside of your own head?

  • Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    I think I fucked up

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    How did each of the gods die, and what did we get from them?

  • No Stupid Questions @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    Scifi question about time travel:

  • Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    If this seems exaggerated to you then you haven't worked in IT long enough

  • Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world
    bizarroland @lemmy.world

    All of us watching the Little Mermaid as a kid