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Saraphim

@ Saraphim @lemmy.world

Posts
2
Comments
77
Joined
3 yr. ago

  • Why does “come here” bother me so much?

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  • Are you sure your girlfriend isn’t my husband ? It’s just fucking annoying. Just tell me what you want. Or as he so condescendingly says to me when I’ve decided something isn’t worth discussing (he’s the king of talking things through until I see his point and agree with him) he tells me to “use my words”. The reason I’m not using my words is because it’s not worth the following 4 hour debate about how I should see things his way.

  • Why does “come here” bother me so much?

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  • Oh no I have verbalized it. He acknowledges it’s inappropriate and keeping me in unnecessary suspense. But he doesn’t know why he does it so … shrug. He even apologized for it last night as soon as i said something about it (raccoons just sitting on the roof). It was 1am and I was dead asleep and he called me on my phone to wake me to come outside right away and see this. A 1am urgent call from outside the house when I’m dead asleep should be about someone being dead, not “there are two raccoons sitting on the roof of our sunroom.”

  • Why does “come here” bother me so much?

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  • We have talked about it a lot. He recognizes it’s a weird behaviour but he can’t break the habit, so the childhood thought tracks. And I also think you’re right about the effort bit. He’s lazy by nature. If something needs doing and he doesn’t know how, he just shrugs and says “I don’t know how”. But when you’re a couple, and something needs to be done, anything shrugged off by #1 becomes the responsibility of #2. Which means instead of him having to learn it, I have to. Just google it dude. Watch a youtube video, like I’m going to when you wash your hands of it. It’s easier for me to learn something new than it is for him to learn something new which is bollocks. The only reason it’s easier is because it’s not his effort. Somehow in his mind learning something new is too hard on his part, but takes zero effort on mine. Like, what?

  • Why does “come here” bother me so much?

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  • This is a good point. I try to set boundaries and unfortunately he’s committed to the “big reveal”. I know he’s one of those people who likes to “share” life. If he sees something fascinating, he wants me to experience the same fascination so it’s like a surprise. If it’s bad he wants me to feel the same horror he felt when he saw it. Warning me would negate the reveal. We have talked about it frequently and he doesn’t know why he does it, he understands how it could be stressful for me, but can’t seem to break his pattern.

  • Why does “come here” bother me so much?

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  • This is also part of the annoyance. He has no problem with interrupting me for whatever he thinks is interesting. I do sometimes feel like he treats me like the entertainment a bit. When he gets a new game, he doesn’t necessarily even want to play it himself first, he wants ME to play it and he gets to watch while I struggle and learn all the shit. I work a very intellectually demanding job and most times the last thing I want to do at 10pm on a Tuesday is learn a whole new thing. If I’m out and he wonders when I’ll be home, or if what I’m doing, or even has a thought he will call me. I’ve explained to him a thousand times that he doesn’t need to know where I am every second of every day, not because he thinks I’m doing anything, but because he just wonders and that curiosity must immediately be satisfied. It’s so stressful to be out with your fucking mom and he calls five minutes after you leave the house and then 10 more times over the next two hours just wondering when you’ll be home. Like, he can’t even wonder. He has to call me so I can give him an answer. It’s exhausting. My mother says it’s a control thing but I don’t think so. I think it’s an urge being satisfied thing.

  • Removed

    Would a re-elected Donald Trump ruin Democracy across the globe in a domino effect?

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  • I think he’s already ruined democracy and it’s just a slide into despotism at this point.

  • Things that are better on lemmy

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  • Please don’t send us leaves. We have so many leaves.

  • I really wish it didn't do it

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  • I think that’s the ticket. You must say vigilant at all times, even when sleeping.

  • Deleting private messages and reporting users

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  • If only functional members of society had as much spare time as these fucking losers. Ugh.

  • I really wish it didn't do it

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  • I’m this person. It’s fucking annoying. I want to sleep. I really do. But nope. I haven’t used an alarm clock in 30 years. In fact, if I do, I will hit snooze until I’ve overslept. But I can wake up for a 3am flight no problem. I can lie down for 20 minutes, be asleep in 30 seconds and then wake up in 20 minutes. It’s a weird and mostly useless superpower.

  • "Teddit is Shutting Down. Lemmy is the New Reddit"

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  • I’m hoping the quality of the content will grow over time. I don’t even give a shit about porn but right now it’s like half this place is posts about wet pussies and subs about ass and it’s grossing me the fuck out. I’ve been curating so it’s getting better but still

  • Please share your stories/screenshots of being banned from Reddit and/or Subreddits, as well as other social media platforms.

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  • This one infuriated me. The entirety of Reddit is just memes reposting. You son of bitch for doing the exact same thing everyone else was doing

  • Please share your stories/screenshots of being banned from Reddit and/or Subreddits, as well as other social media platforms.

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  • I got banned from Am I The Asshole for calling someone in OPs story a loser from highschool (90s version of a neck beard who thinks he’s gods gift to the world). Turns out one of the mods was that exact same flavour of loser.

    I’m now permanently suspended for saying Andrew Tate deserved to get raped in prison and pointing out the irony of him objecting to house arrest when he was literally keeping people trapped in his house and was raping them. There were posts defending rape, but that was just sooooo offside.

    8 years and 200,000+ karma.

    Post was obv deleted by the mods (after 200 upvotes) so this is the best I got.

  • Do neurotypicals really not have to do this? I'm seriously asking.

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  • There’s something about playing that lights up their motivation centre. So it’s not so much a routine as it is an impulse that gives them a dopamine boost - like an addiction. It’s not that any of us couldn’t do it with enough focus, but it would be constant intentional action to keep working at it. And a lot of us just don’t have the long term focus for that because goals far in the future are hard to keep focused on, unless you get into hyper focus, where you just become obsessed with achieving something. The trouble is that most of us never achieve that satisfaction that something is “complete”. So when things seem never ending, sometimes we just… give up and move on to something else that seems more interesting now.

  • Do neurotypicals really not have to do this? I'm seriously asking.

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  • I see where you’re going with this. But no. My partner is a musician. It’s a habit for him. He needs it. He plays religiously. Me though ? One day I might decide I absolutely have to learn the guitar right now, then I’d force myself through enough practice to be passable, then put the guitar down and never touch it again. Or even more likely, I’d rush out, spend $5k on gear, bring it home, set it up and by then I’ll have lost interest completely, so I’d tell myself I’ll actually play tomorrow. And then never touch that stuff again. I tell people I’m an oversharer (also an adhd thing) because there’s no room for skeletons in my closet. It’s already full of all my forgotten hobbies.

  • Do neurotypicals really not have to do this? I'm seriously asking.

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  • Trust me, our minds are equally blown by how your brain works. Like, what ? It’s automatic ? How does that even work? For me, automatic is things like clenching my teeth or flinching at a certain type of sound, but I wouldn’t call that a habit. For me, a habit is something I can’t stop the impulse for, like smoking. All daily practical functions are intentional or not at all. Even “routines” are just forcing yourself through the checklist, it’s never automatic. You’re like fucking robots I swear.