Maeve

@ Maeve1 @lemmygrad.ml

Posts

23
Comments

416
Joined

10 mo. ago

Please refer to my main account, also Maeve. Thank you.

2mo ago

Scientists warn that the Gulf Stream is shifting north, which means an ocean current collapse is imminent
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Maeve @lemmygrad.ml 2mo ago
This is already happening in the Southeastern seaboard south where I live. Several days of summer weather, then late winter/early spring for a day or few, repeat. They're predicting la niña for a second consecutive summer, too.

2mo ago

USA: I Ran

And I ran, I ran so far away. And I ran, ran for night and dayyyy... Couldn't get away...🎶🕌

Yes. I learned to just sit with them and feel them. I thought about being lonely vs fitting in with people who didn't think like me, hold the same core values, and thrived on opportunism, one-upsmanship, alcohol, drugs, and promiscuity that denigrates women in general and equates a woman's love to putting up with struggle love, non-consensual non-monogamy, passing around side chicks (among other people I won't get into), STIs (and taking the blame for them when they are blameless), financial and physical abuse, parents who rear boys to be abusers and girls to be abused, because that's the natural order of things.

I may or not be asd. But I think differently. I quit abandoning myself to show up for people who couldn't give me the time of day unless I was useful to their messed up agendas and started showing up for myself. I quit drinking, doping (including prescriptions), and smoking cigarettes and reefer. I occasionally now indulge in a drink and nicotine vape is the last daily but it's less and less, especially when I'm getting work. Substances are another way of abandoning myself, the self that was shamed for empathy and compassion. I started eating as healthily as I can according to time and budget. I cut out added sugars and sweeteners except for morning coffee, and add very little raw honey or molasses. I lie down early even if not sleeping or waking up during the night. I'm walking when time and weather permit. I don't eat chips or candy anymore, occasionally a cookie, two at the most. I enjoy silence. I got to know the me I was running from, and I genuinely like that person. I forgave others and myself. I understood. But that doesn't mean ~~not~~ letting abuse and exploitation continue. And I have comrades who are infinitely patient, seek to include and understand, and failing understanding, accept. Better these friends online than fake friends and family in 3D.

And I started being grateful. For my slum home, my hood, the sun on my face, my uncomfortable bed, the painted buntings, flutterbys, ladybugs, potable water, hot shower, and decent neighbors.