Im really sorry that happened to you, that's awful. Its also what I'm terrified of, calling help for them and that causing them to not tell me the next time. So far I haven't had to do that but I have had to convince them to call help themselves which worked. Then they started blaming me for being alive (in a good way) though its still overwhelming to hear that. They talk so much about self harm and their suicidal intentions to the point where its traumatic and I honestly dont know how much more I can take before I do something stupid and let them down. The other friend is just distant and its terrifying when they don't answer any messages. You're right though, there's nothing I can do about it except tell them how much they mean to me and listen to them when they need to talk.
Last time i tried to talk to them about how id been feeling they completely started blaming themselves for it. I didnt tell them much, just that having to constantly hear about their self harm habits is overwhelming and I often don't know how to respond to things. I do tell them I would miss them and that I enjoy spending time with them. But its so overwhelming because every single message I send to anyone I always overanalyze it to make sure it won't affect them negatively. I have frequent nightmares where my friends die of any circumstance and its always my fault. So I'm terrified of accidentally tipping them over the edge.
I can't really give the best advice. A while ago I went through some things and decided to avoid all my friends. I remember, decpite my decision, I really would've loved if one of my close friends reached out. Idk about your friend though, everyone is different. If I were you I would definitely reach out. Make them understand that you really care about them.
Its nice to know im not the only Linux kid. It felt so weird, most of my friends didn't even know what Android was. It sucks growing up tech savvy when most people call themselves nerds after discovering "air drop".
Oh my god thank you. I saw this exact image on another site, except the text said "I found the BIOS flavor." I was like "wtf this person has no idea what BIOS is" and proceeded to explain what it really was.
Genuinly my life